| A lady says that she should have stayed in Mexico and lead a suburban life, even killing her husband like her mother did. She's breaking the fourth wall.Welcome to New Mexico. Two bank clerks are overjoyed that have robbed a bank successfully. They are Vic (Richard Waters) and Chip (Nigel Whitmey). A Marilyn-Monroe lookalike and a Las Vegas guy who were driving the convertible car look at each other, take their guns out and aim at the bank clerks. She is Candy (Melinda Clarke) and he is Johnny (Jason Durr). They abandon the clerks with their mouths sown together. He goes to jail, and she hides as a nun in a convent.Four years later, a reporter (Alicia Borrachero) is talking about the pure petrol sold at a particular New Mexico petrol station while a photographer (Ricardo Fraguas) takes pictures. The station is attended by nuns. It's the last petrol station for 300 miles.Rita (Mapi Galán) is a novice nun who gives Candy a letter from her lover, who is about to leave jail. Candy dresses in a sexy red dress and Rita will miss her. Rita is a mute.A prison warden (Robert Englund) beats Johnny because he's about to leave the prison; he thinks that Johnny'll return to the prison soon enough, as he's going to fuck it up somehow. Another prison inmate helps Johnny. Chip sees the photo of the nuns in the local paper, shown by Vic.Candy and her dog, called Rudolph, arrive at Porky, a derelict café. Ted (José Truchado) is forced to carry out the "inspection" of the area by the prison warden. Chip appears at the petrol station, but Rita doesn't want to betray Candy and her dogs. He performs a fellatio to the pump. One of the nuns produces a gun and tells him that Candy has left the convent. Chip steals somebody else's clothes because his outfit was damaged by the petrol.Something falls from space onto Earth. Candy eats with her three poodles while Rita has a kind of extasis by herself while praying. Everything trembles and an asteroid crashes onto Earth. A ball of fire from that flies away and falls onto Candy's soup. She jumps all over the place, flies around and metamorphoses onto a humanoid beat. Meanwhile, Rita has fainted. The Mother Superior (Tusse Silberg) thinks that the kiss of life from other nun to Rita is disgusting.Four sexily-clad people notice Candy, who now looks different. The warden asks Flash (Edward Tudor-Pole) to make Johnny's life difficult in exchange for a recommendation for parole. Flash tries to provoke Johnny. The puddles have become people. They are Rudolph (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), Loca (Daniel "Danny" Edwards), Heidi (David Dale) and Mimi (Kimberly Kimberly).Chip appears demanding his money. Candy asks for help, as she's become a monster. Chip refuses to leave her until Johnny arrives. Chip decides to have a bath while he waits. Candy can't even cook, because her new tongue has a life of her own. Candy begs Chip to help her, and talks and talks without looking at her, so he can't see Candy's huge tongue touching him. Candy kisses him and the tongue kills him.The chief warden has its own portable toilet with pictures of boys. When he tries to flush the toilet, tied-down Flash falls into it, wrecking it. All the rest of inmates laugh about Johnny's booby trap.The poodles paint the walls. The tongue slaps Candy when she tries to cut it with an electric knife. The tongue writes on her forehead EAT. Randolph tells her to eat. Candy tells the dogs to bring Johnny. The warden plays golf using Johnny as a tee. The cook nun (Alicia Garrigues) shows the Mother Superior and the chubby nun (Luchi López) Rita's drawings.At home, Candy tries to get rid of her tongue with an iron and a toaster. The tongue attacks her in revenge. Candy isn't able to cut it completely. Rita leaves the convent. The poodles dance in front of the warden and the prisoners, while an old nun (Mabel Karr) is tied down in their car. The warden shoots the dancers.Later that night, the warden captures a dove and calls it Johnny, who has escaped with another warden. They stop their car and see a pink-lit religious image; Johnny is attacked by the pinkish dust, the same which attacked Candy and gave her her tongue. The poodles will give the nun and their other prisoner as food to Candy.The warden makes a makeshift nest for the dove with his wig. The poodles dress the prisoner nun as one of them. Rita adores the pink alien thing in the middle of the desert. The tongue writes GIVE ME on the wall when Candy tries to refrain from eating. Rita picks a piece of the pinkish thing with an pickaxe and that makes Candy's tongue not to eat the nun. Rita takes the pickaxe from Johnny's body and puts there the pinkish stuff to heal him.Meanwhile, Candy cuts her veins, but the tongue tells her "not to go, because I need you" and heals her. The tongue has a male voice and says that he can speak and hear everything she thinks.Rita steals a car and faints at Candy's. The poodles wash her and give her sexy clothes. They see Candy french-kissing a woman and killing her through a dark mirror. The tongue attacks Rita, but the poodles defend her. Johnny can't uncuff himself and Vic attacks him. Vic shoots Johnny and pees on the pink alien thing - it starts to glow and kills him.Candy is pregnant from the tongue, who kills the warden. Unluckily, Johnny is still handcuffed to a car which he's trying to push closer to Candy. The inmates tell Candy that Johnny has found somebody else, and one of them tries to rape her. The tongue doesn't defend Candy at the beginning, when she really needs her. All the inmates escape, except the two the tongue kills. Candy thanks the tongue.The runaways find the alien pink thingy. Johnny thanks Rita for saving his life and they make love. Candy sees them while drunk. Candy pushes the bed to which they are tied to a cliff, but a tree root prevents it from falling for a while. The poodles give a man to Candy to eat. Luckily for them, Johnny and Rita have survived. They have got rid of the cuffs somehow and Rita helps Johnny limp to safety.The warden wakes up and picks up a shotgun. He kills the dove first of all. Candy caresses and cherishes the tongue - it is as though they are lovers from now on. The tongue performs a cunnilingus to Candy. They all try to learn how to put a diaper to a baby.The warden apears and falls down to the floor, shooting once. That calls everybody's attention. The tongue attacks the warden and Johnny, who slaps her. When he sees the tongue, he helps the warden to his feet. Rita leaves in a car with the warden and Johnny. Candy and the poodles drive after them. They all drive to the convent, where they crash onto the petrol station. Everybody enters the church, where all the surviving nuns are. Rita says that Candy is the devil. Johnny shoots the water reservoir in the church.The two wardens are beginning to fall in love while hiding in the confession box. Johnny throws a piece of the pink stuff onto the watery floor, but Candy takes herself out of there using her tongue as a coil. Candy and the tongue attack Johnny and Rita. Johnny hesitates to push Candy to the bottom of a well, but he can't kill them. Rita finally cuts the tongue at its bases. Candy becomes a human again.Return to the beginning: Candy wants to forget about tongues, men, money... she only wants hope.-- |
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